Using dating apps as a trans woman
My experience of dating apps as a transgender woman has differed on each of the apps I have used since deciding to dip my toes back into the waters of dating.
To be honest I am not really sure whether I want hook ups or longer term relationships which blurs the boundaries somewhat.
On the one hand I have felt very validated, particularly on Tinder getting lots of attention and compliments from cisgender men such as 'you have a beautiful face', 'you have a sexy legs', 'you have a sexy body', 'I can't wait to nibble on that sexy anus of yours'.
On the other hand I have started to feel objectified from some of this attention and definitely felt an ick factor too.
For many men who are attracted to transgender women a huge part of their attraction often (but not always) comes from the fantasy of being penetrated. In this scenario I would be useless as due to the medication I take (Oestrogen and Decapeptyl) I am incapable of getting penile erections. As well as this the thought of penetrating someone simply doesn’t appeal to me.
“I have felt very validated, particularly on Tinder getting lots of attention and compliments from cisgender men such as ‘you have a beautiful face’, ‘you have a sexy legs’, ‘you have a sexy body’”
Some of the men I have encountered assume that I would be happy to do this. I'm sure the popularity of transgender porn plays a part in perpetuating the idea that there is a willingness amongst all transgender women to do this.
“a lot of the men on Hinge is to start families and live a heteronormative, cisnormative, nuclear family sort of life—something which is more complicated with a transgender woman”
On Hinge the attention hasn't been as extreme, perhaps this is partly due to where I live which is sparsely populated. Another reason could be that the intentions of a lot of the men on Hinge is to start families and live a heteronormative, cisnormative, nuclear family sort of life—something which is more complicated with a transgender woman.
“just like any woman I am wary of meeting strangers on apps especially when the implications of meeting at a hotel are involved”
In the past few years some of the stigma about dating transgender people has subsided but it still definitely remains and I think most heterosexual men are still apprehensive about publicly dating transgender women.
I have shared and received nudes and have arranged some dates (with hotels booked for later) that didn’t materialise; just like any woman I am wary of meeting strangers on apps especially when the implications of meeting at a hotel are involved.
I am also wary of how generous I am when I share nudes as I don't want to end up becoming a free porn service, perhaps I should start an OnlyFans? At least that way I might get a bit of coin.
“I think it could possibly be beneficial to start using more dating apps that are centred around the LGBTQ+ community”
It has been interesting so far. I think it could possibly be beneficial to start using more dating apps that are centred around the LGBTQ+ community—hopefully this could help me gain more clarity for my intentions on dating apps.